YOU SAY YOU GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY?

Also, with the Lent season here, here's what I'll be doing for Lent—how about you?

My relationship to God is close and dare I say it’s even closer to the Blessed Mother. She has listened to me cry over a broken heart too many times. In times of utter loneliness she has lifted my spirits. My prayers for loved ones were always received and answered; it wasn’t always on my timing but I was patient and like always she delivered. When I asked for a sign she sent it to me, whether I always took her direction or not, eventually I made it to my destination.

I grew up Roman Catholic by a single mother who raised us to love and believe in God, Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and the Holy Catholic Church. She taught us all of our prayers and we recited them before bedtime.

My mother always told us to wear our religion in our hearts. She said it’s not good to brag or show off. She taught us to be kind and giving, to respect our elders and to be yourself, be who God made you, she would tell us.

My mother always says, “When you see people praying, pray. When you see them working, work. And when you see them eating, eat with them.”

Now, do we go to church every Sunday? No.

Partly, because it’s a little difficult with a one year old and although I love the idea of attending Mass every Sunday, real life is happening, but I never forget God because of that. I’m not abandoning Him. It doesn’t feel as though my sins are not not being forgiven. I’d rather live a life that is genuine with God, wherever that may at the moment, than every Sunday at 12pm sharp.

There were times I attended Mass every Sunday for months, then I had to work Sundays or there were baby showers to attend, or it became one of the only days to sleep in (Sorry, God!) … you get the idea.

So, what do I do? I do what my mom taught me. I pray in private. Sometimes I stop by a Church on a weekday to light a candle and sit in silence, taking in the beauty of Her. It feels more special in some ways like this, alone with God in His church, rather than in a Mass full of coughs, whispers, babies crying and the ever so reliable judgment club.

Photo by Ahna Ziegler on Unsplash

I look forward to taking our daughter to Mass almost every Sunday once she starts Catholic school next year, but for now I will read the children’s bible to her and every time she points to the Cross around my neck I say the word ‘Krishti’ to her (Christ in Albanian).

This is what I believe is true in my heart: God will not help you if you don’t want to help yourself. God will not forgive you if you can’t forgive yourself. God cannot open your eyes to a new life, a new job or a new love if you blame everyone else for why it’s not happening for you. You cannot use the Church as a way of masking your mistakes. Nobody can control your conscience but you and you alone.

I believe that trying to be the best version of yourself to yourself and to others is the best way to love God. If God can love us just the way we are, imperfections and all, than we can learn to love each other the same way. I believe that a good heart is kinder than a million kind words.

With the Lent season upon us, our Church, The Immaculate Heart of Mary, included 40 Unique Penances for Lent in their recent newsletter. I’m committing to attending Mass once a week, every week, no matter what—whether I have to bring my restless toddler along or not. I’m also planning to donate my time, clothing, and food to those in need. Additionally, I’ll pray a rosary each week, dedicating it to a different friend, family member, or even an enemy.

Instead of giving up something like chocolate or carbs this Lent, I want to focus on giving more of myself. I believe the best way to show my love for Jesus and set an example for my daughter is through acts of service, not just by attending Mass every Sunday and posting a quick ‘Blessed Sunday’ on Instagram.

So, what do I ask of you this Lent? Simply keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and I’ll do the same for you.

May this season bring renewal to your spirit in all the ways you need and lift you up along the way!